I’ve always been vocal about my feelings and my thoughts, and if you have been reading these  shit I’ve been writing long enough, you will see and learn that I am like that. I’ve been like that ever since I learned how to speak, but there’s something I never talk about, my deepest intimate feelings.
I’m vocal with my feelings when I hate the way a certain person talks, when I don’t get what I want, when some thing doesn’t go my way, when someone annoys the living hell out of me, or what have you. But when it comes to my feelings from deep inside, when I’m happy, sad, hurt, depressed or whatever mushy shit I have inside me. I never talk about that, weird as it may be, but I talk to myself about it, in my room or in the garage at night when I turn off all the lights while staring at the dark and infinite sky, I would just sit there, a cigarette in one hand and maybe a bottle of brew in the other. But I do, just to get the tension out of my head I would do that. And nowadays to my little year-and-10-month old niece that I learned to raise as my very own. Ever since she was born, everytime was feeling emotional, be it happy or sad, I liked to spend it with her, though most of the time she doesn’t know what the fuck I’m talking about, but she would just sit there and look at me unconditionally and just melt my heart away. No questions, no doubts whether I’m right or wrong. But she’s just there. I would just hug her tight and just hold back all the pain inside and just feel her chubby little body close to mine,in my arms, warm and filled with so much unconditional love for me. Without shedding a tear, it wipes away any pain that I’m feeling.
This is one of those times where I need to be close to her.
My little almost-two-year-old refuge.
Until she grows up.