It’s not that I don’t care, or stopped caring for that matter; but sometimes when something gets too heavy to burden, it’s better if you just stop stressing on it. I know that it may sound a little selfish at times, but I have to think of myself too. Look after myself.
The past few weeks have been hard on me. It’s been hell. There has been unwanted changes in my life that I could not control, did not dare to control, because it wasn’t my choice to control in the first place, but nevertheless, had made such an impact on me.
I know sooner or later I will have to face that sudden realization, but as of the moment, I’m trying really hard to be numb and play dumb. It’s what I’m good at. It’s all I’ve ever done. Burns a stinging whole, a burning bitter whole that gets bigger by the day. But I’m slowly getting used to the pain. Sad, I know, but I just have to deal with it. Being unwanted.