It’s kinda hard when you’re your own worst critic.
You think you can but there’s something lodged at the back of your head convincing you otherwise.
Sometimes I feel its best to seem as if you dont care at all so noone expects anything from you. So maybe, just maybe, you can also convince yourself to expect nothing from yourself.
  For 29 years I feel I’ve done a lot of growing up. I feel I’ve done my best to proofread my life, dotted the T’ and crossed my I’s – but why do I still feel so goddamn incomplete? Maybe its just one of those days where my head begins to get the best of me. Or maybe its my lack of action that’s putting me in this emotional/psychological condition. I’m turning out to be an action junkie. I haven’t hit the bags nor got in a ring for about 4 months now. Thanks to all this work load that I’ve been getting the past couple of months. Not to mention the food that I’ve been eating lately, all the smoking, all the drinking. Dammit, I weight 225lbs now.
  Need to get back to 205. OR my ass will be whipped if I get back to the gym weighing like this.
  Anyways, maybe that is what’s been bothering me lately. The lack of testosterone secretion.
  Or maybe I’m just going crazy!