They say that 30 is just a number, but why do I feel that time is ticking for me?
I’m turning 30 in a couple of months and it got me thinking back through my life, wondering. Wondering what I learned over those 29 years.
I’m aging but not maturing.
At 30, I feel that I should be wiser than yesterday; but i feel that I’m still that knucklehead kid running up the block, into NC-10 for another basketball game, screwing around the block looking for something to do. My mind says I haven’t aged a bit, but my body and everything else around me is saying otherwise.
I’m living my life in complete content right now, pretty stable and moving career, perfect girl and a roof to sleep in. I could never ask for anything different.
But obviously, I know that there’s something missing – maturity.
Every now and then some good heart will open doors for me to walk in, but I still feel I struggled throughout those 29 years. I should have enough wisdom packed, enough to go to war. The battle that starts at 30.
I feel that I should be a different person by now.
But I’m still that knucklehead kid from the gutter.

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