…

Some times I don’t even know what the hell I’m still doing here.

 

Her head

The splinter in her head is now in mine..

 

trapped

They got me trapped,

In this industrial seclusion

All the policies you’ve been feeding

Is a delusion..

Even through all the clarity

that we all saught.

Lacking and diverting

like the bullshit that we bought.

Over the years,

I have done alot of growing up..

Gettin drunk, throwing up.

Fucked up,

Now I have had enough.

Tired of being trapped

in this continuous cycle

Im turning into a psycho

a smart ass lunatic trapped;

cause i gotta go.

away from this little community

all that shit you did to me,

couldn’t find a trace of equality.

They got me trapped.

 

Ontrac training

hating it..

 

I wish I was dumb

It’s not that I don’t care, or stopped caring for that matter; but sometimes when something gets too heavy to burden, it’s better if you just stop stressing on it. I know that it may sound a little selfish at times, but I have to think of myself too. Look after myself.
The past few weeks have been hard on me. It’s been hell. There has been unwanted changes in my life that I could not control, did not dare to control, because it wasn’t my choice to control in the first place, but nevertheless, had made such an impact on me.
I know sooner or later I will have to face that sudden realization, but as of the moment, I’m trying really hard to be numb and play dumb. It’s what I’m good at. It’s all I’ve ever done. Burns a stinging whole, a burning bitter whole that gets bigger by the day. But I’m slowly getting used to the pain. Sad, I know, but I just have to deal with it. Being unwanted.

 

alone

Alone,

Nobody but nobody

Can make it out here on their own.

Our soul needs a homely body,

To make it’s own home..

A homely body,

Which proves to be more difficult,

As we’re more grown..

Sitting, staring, and thinking

Has only proven,

That I can never be more wrong..

That nobody but nobody,

Can make it out here on their own.

Like a heart without a home,

Bare, freezing and bleeding,

Without a warm chest

To sit in like a throne..

If you read between the lines,

And listen closely to these rhymes,

You’d understand that,

Nobody but nobody,

Can make it out here alone.

 

She says magic; I say passion.

Life isn’t a fairy tale.
It just doesn’t work like that.
Our endings are what we make of it.
We can be happy if we choose to.

My whole body is aching.
Literally.
Guess it’s mourning for my broken heart.
I can’t be a magician.
I don’t have magic tricks to show.
But what I can be is someone that’s real.  And loving.
I dunno.
I just don’t run races like that.
I don’t have magic.
I have passion.

 

The Team Captain Blues..

They say Im crazy,
I gotta work with what you gave me,
Claimin’ I’m a lunatic
When you the one that made me..
They got us trapped in this slavery..
Now we lost
in this holocaust
headin for Convergys..

I told them,
They can fuck the Queue,
Got suspended for 2
What else am I to do?
And now they wonder why I’m mad
Check my records..
whats a TC got to do
to get respected.
some times I feel Im getting tested.
And if I dont say yes,
This TC’s quick to get suspended.

Now the same ol’ system is still testing me
and i wonder if the lord ever heard of me,
I need work, so Im doing what I do,
they shouldnt say shit till they walk in our shoes..
Aint no other option left to do
And got nothin left to lose,
So we sing the TC blues..

 

wisdom is hard to swallow

Wisdom is hard to swallow.
Expect no apologies,
Honor is never borrowed.

Though we live off the same old shit they feed us everyday, does not mean we all will believe and comply with every bullshit they have to say.
Sanction me, abuse me, do whatever.
I’d still get up off my ass and stick my middle finger in the air and yell “Fuck all ya’ll!”
Because my wisdom is hard to swallow.

 

Coming to Grips

I have come to grips with the possibility,
and I’m shredding my skin,
from deep within.
Life can never be as easy for me
And it always hasn’t been.

I am coming to grips with the reality,
That noone has seen my struggles,
The pain and the troubles.
Until the very last moment,
That I jumped my last hurdle.

As soon as I have come to grips,
Crossed my T’s and dotted my I’s
And wiped the last tears off my eyes.
Got love for those who stayed positive,
In the event of my demise.