Mind In Solitude

His rhinestones lost their color, and he’s got an attitude,
He’s been through a lot, never meant to be rude.
This cowboy still roams from east to west.
Still carrying that bullet lodged up in his chest.
Singing that song, that he has written long ago.
Swaying his way singing; not knowing where to go.
The fire in his eyes, have died out from the pain.
The music that he was singin, is no longer keeping him sane.
Memories of everything that was never meant to be.
He trembles along life, looking for that key.
So if you see this cowboy please don’t think he’s rude
His rhinestones lost their color and he’s got an attitude

😦

There’s so much to do with too little time.
I wish I could just put the whole world on standby mode and just
chill my days away.
How many of you have spent countless hours sending signals from your brain through your nerves into the rest of your body convincing yourself to get a job done but ending up contemplating the day away?
I have.
All the time.
I realize now that it takes more effort to be lazy than to be productive.
Being productive only entitles a part of your head knowing what to do and
your body working to get the job done.
Being lazy needs thinkin through and a huge amount of imagination.
Of course, you have to keep in mind that you will need an excuse for not doing what you are supposed to.
An alibi.
An alibi that would seem realistic, realistic enough that you yourself would have to believe that little lie that you just made up.
Then you would go into a state of mind where you would reenact something that has not happened yet and imagine what it would be like delivering that alibi.
Were there doubts?
Need a good rebuttal?
And it just goes on..
So when I’m not doing what I am supposed to, I’m not being lazy.
I’m just doing something else.

  It’s kinda hard when you’re your own worst critic.
You think you can but there’s something lodged at the back of your head convincing you otherwise.
Sometimes I feel its best to seem as if you dont care at all so noone expects anything from you. So maybe, just maybe, you can also convince yourself to expect nothing from yourself.
  For 29 years I feel I’ve done a lot of growing up. I feel I’ve done my best to proofread my life, dotted the T’ and crossed my I’s – but why do I still feel so goddamn incomplete? Maybe its just one of those days where my head begins to get the best of me. Or maybe its my lack of action that’s putting me in this emotional/psychological condition. I’m turning out to be an action junkie. I haven’t hit the bags nor got in a ring for about 4 months now. Thanks to all this work load that I’ve been getting the past couple of months. Not to mention the food that I’ve been eating lately, all the smoking, all the drinking. Dammit, I weight 225lbs now.
  Need to get back to 205. OR my ass will be whipped if I get back to the gym weighing like this.
  Anyways, maybe that is what’s been bothering me lately. The lack of testosterone secretion.
  Or maybe I’m just going crazy!