This year has been a humbling experience for me.
I learned to value things more and I learned to prioritize. Like the feeling of betting it all in and losing the hand, I had to start over, from scratch.. From being a rockstar to someone struggling to perform.
The things that I value now may not be the same things that I would have valued years ago.
I’m a different person.
Over-all I would say better but there is a part of me that’s changing negatively.
My outlook at work. Should I call it maturity? No, I guess, but more like “awakened” by the sudden realization of how fucked up we have it at work.
The things that would have motivated me in the past has now turned and sailed on leaving me in the shore of confusion.
This place has its way of sucking potential out of you.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining, its just that I’ve let it happen.
The process, complacency, the fact that no matter how innovative you are is not going to matter since everything is manopolized by on-shore. Or so I’ve been told.